Book Club, The 5 Love Languages
Have you ever looked at your significant other and wondered, Why are you the way you are? What makes you tick? How can we strengthen our relationship? Through learning your love language, you can use this tool to help strengthen and understand yourself and your person by understanding their love language. We dive into the book written by Gary Chapman and discuss the 5 love languages every relationship needs to be strong.
Today we are talking about the 5 love languages book
We recommend this book to everyone regardless of how long or short their current relationship is. Disclaimer we are not relationship experts or therapists.
People speak different love languages after many years of marriage counseling Chapman conclusion is that there are five emotional love languages. 5 ways that people speak and understand emotional love. Chapman believes that once you identify and speak your spouses primary love language you will have found the key a long lasting loving marriage.
I found this book super interesting and I fell like it made me understand my spouses needs better and vice versa - Brittani
B Its so true that we need to learn our spouses and our own love languages. When you are dating you think “we are goin to be so happy because we are so in love!”
Madison: Nothing is annoying nothing, they do is weird they are just full of little quirks. Then you are a year into your marriage grinding your teeth wondering why your spouse is still doing the annoying things that used to be "cute"
There are 5 love languages. Words of affirmation, quality time receiving gifts acts of service and physical touch.
M: My main love language is quality time followed by words of affirmation. I didn’t get my husband to retake this test but I know his love language is words of affirmation.
Mine kinda surprised me. How my husband shows his love is giving gifts so I always say that is my love language. But last summer we went camping for 25 days. Just our family traveling the country and there were several time through out the trip that I was like “ I really want to jump your bones right now” He was confused why I was feeling that way when we were in a tent with no privacy. I realized when I took this test and it was quality time and that spending time with him apparently turns me on.
It has made me evaluate how I am spending our time together now that we are home. I am putting the phone down and find ways to connect. Its easier in the woods with no distractions
B: My love languages is acts of service and followed by quality time. Kyles surprised me because when we took it when we first got married his top ones were receiving gifts and words of affirmation. Now his is quality time and acts of service. His changed as we have gotten older which I think is super interesting. It shows how we can change.
Here are some ways to show love for each love language. We were inspired by mindbodygreen.com
Words of affirmation. Telling them they did good at school or work. Thank them for doing the dishes. Your partner will really like hearing you say “I love you”. In our day an age texting can go a long way too. Written word can be as good as the spoken word.
Quality Time: you spend uninterrupted time with your partner. It’s important you have enough time to enjoy each other’s company with undivided attentions. Like Madison’s camping trip with her family. Find time to have focused quality time with your partner to show them you care.
Acts of service. You feel loved and taken care of when your partner supports and helps you ease your responsibility This is Brittani’s biggest love language. There is nothing more sexy for her than watching Kyle do dishes. The follow through is important. If you say you are going to do something it is very important to finish it and do the act if your partner is this love language.
Receiving gifts. If your love language is gift you feel loved when you receive a gift. The present itself is nice but it is the thought behind it that is important. The gift becomes an object that helps you remember that they were thinking of you which fills you with love.
We think that media has tainted this love language. It movies and tv shows it’s the guys that cheat or forget their anniversaries buy a present to make up for it. Or it makes girls who likes receiving gifts look high maintenance. But there is not one love language that is better than another. Give giving doesn’t have to be extravagant it is just an object that shows love and thought
Touch. Touch can be hard if your partner is not into touch. Also, media can make us think that if your partner is not always holding your hand that there is something wrong. The reality is you can to work with your and your partners love language to find balance that makes you both happy.
You look forward to hugs, cuddles, and kissing. You feel grounded in a relationship when physical affection is accessible and often cultivated. Your game for public displays of affection and it makes you feel desired.
We really believe that finding your and your partners love languages is vital to your relationship. With it you can understand what you may be lacking and how to address it with each other. Maybe you need to hug them more, or spend time one on one with them. It could be that you need to up your gift game, or say how you feel out loud more. We hope this episode help you feel less alone and to understand that relationships are about constant learning and adapting.